Tag Archives: forgiveness

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

books poetry lit March 7, 2015 Leave a comment
Tell me it was for the hunger
& nothing less. For hunger is to give
the body what it knows

it cannot keep. That this amber light
whittled down by another war
is all that pins my hand

to your chest.

i

You, drowning

between my arms —
stay.

You, pushing your body
into the river
only to be left
with yourself —
stay.

i

I’ll tell you how we’re wrong enough to be forgiven. How one night, after

backhanding
mother, then taking a chainsaw to the kitchen table, my father went to kneel
in the bathroom until we heard his muffled cries through the walls.
And so I learned that a man, in climax, was the closest thing
to surrender.

i
Say surrender. Say alabaster. Switchblade.
Honeysuckle. Goldenrod. Say autumn.
Say autumn despite the green
in your eyes. Beauty despite
daylight. Say you’d kill for it. Unbreakable dawn
mounting in your throat.
My thrashing beneath you
like a sparrow stunned

with falling.

by Ocean Vuong, read the rest at Poetry Magazine

That Which Scatters and Breaks Apart

books poetry lit January 9, 2015 Leave a comment

Everywhere they turn, the walls ask, why, why not.
From every space someone calls a question
and there echoes so many answers, it’s impossible to hear.

Save me, he calls.
Open me, she calls. Divorce me.
Their despair is a bird in an abandoned nest,
its brother has jumped out and died, its sister is dying beside it
and still it perches:
Do I fly?
Can I fly?

You’re here because you said,
I hate you instead of, I’m sorry.
You’re here because you couldn’t forgive
but kept on making stews and hand-washing his good socks,
blowing curses into hot water.

-Ladan Osman, Apogee

10 Dating Guidelines for Women

life & love February 27, 2014 1 Comment

garden-state

1. Be kind, gracious, loving, and forgiving. Give him more grace than you ever thought would be required, and give it over and over. But be kind to yourself also, and if you find yourself exhausted, discouraged, demoralized, or just simply being treated badly – leave. God made you to be respected and treasured and if as a pattern you are not receiving that, leave.

2. Forgive.

3. Don’t date douchebags.

4. Don’t date douchebags who say they’ve reformed until you’ve seen their behavior change for the good over the course of a long time like a year.

5. Listen to your friends and family. They are not always right, but often are.

6. Don’t break up with someone just because your parents don’t like him. Your spouse will be 200% more present and impactful in your life than your parents will ever be. The ball’s in your court to choose.

7. Men don’t know what they’re doing any more than women do. If they get one out of three things right, that’s good. On the other hand, there’s a difference between a guy with good intentions and character making silly mistakes, and a guy who shows patterns of behavior that speak negatively about his character. In the latter camp is verbal (or physical) abuse, constant selfishness, and any kind of unfaithfulness or cheating.

8. Don’t marry someone you’ve only dated for three months. Even if it works out – and sometimes it does – it makes the first few months of the marriage infinitely harder. You have nothing to lose by waiting. Nothing. As John Steinbeck wrote in a letter on love to his son, “If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”

9. Love isn’t enough. You may feel the deepest, most sincere passion and affection for him – and he may feel it for you in return – and the relationship still doesn’t work out. That is one of the great mysteries of love and life.  And every romantic comedy, Disney movie, and chic lit book you have ever read lied to you: romantic love doesn’t conquer all. Sometimes there are things that just don’t work and never will. Sometimes there are obstacles you can’t surmount. And that’s okay.

10. The X factor. Sometimes in relationships it happens that you are dating a great guy. Everything falls into place, you are a great fit for each other, you like him and maybe even have affection for him as a person, you want to fall in love with him – but you just don’t quite feel it. That necessary attraction and ultimately deeper passion. And after dating him for a little while you still don’t. It’s the x factor. Baffling men and women since the beginning of time. There’s nothing to be done but end the relationship because dragging it out for 6 months or a year will only hurt both of you. Life is long, and you have agency. Don’t stay in something that your gut tells you isn’t working, even if you can’t quite rationally pin down why it’s not working.

“Just a lovely, average girl – that’s what I want” – The Shop Around the Corner